Infirmary
by Kitty Black Cat
Summary: Ginny's thoughts in the infirmary after the chamber. Reflections on her family's reaction.A vision into the mind of a slightly disturbed little girl. Please read my first fanfic.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter does NOT belong to me in any way, shape or form

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter does NOT belong to me in any way, shape or form. It belongs to JK Rowling. No need to sue I'm just using the characters and plot for fun with no bad intentions.

**Author's note**: Hello People! My name's Kitty Black Cat 'cause I'm Kitty and I'm Cat

**Cat**: Kitty, you're not Cat. I'm Cat./ **Kitty**: But Cat you're me and I'm you

**Cat:** Lord save me / **Kitty**: So this is my first fanfic EVER! YEAH!! (runs and jump all over the place) **Cat:** Kitty...stop. Sit down. KITTY STOP RIGHT NOW / **Kitty: **Spoilsport

**Cat**: Giddy hyperactive goody-goody two shoes./ **Kitty**: Hey! I resent that! I'm not wearing shoes right now/ **Cat:** Oh Merlin.../ **Kitty:** Why do you always say that around me? Anyway, English is my second language, so forgive my mistakes please./**Cat:** Yeah and if anyone mentions that my sentence structure is out of wack ...well it can be, but some sentences aren't complete ones because they reflect Ginny's mental state at the moment.

**Kitty**: WOW. Deep...

**Cat:** Kitty, when people have nothing intelligent to say, the best thing for them is to keep their mouth shut!! So yeah, anyway, let's go on with the story

**Kitty**: Hope you enjoy! By the way, sentences in italics with '' are what other people have told Ginny in the past and the story is in Ginny's POV.

**Infirmary**

White. I close my eyes. No, no, no. This is wrong. Open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes Ginny, OPEN YOUR EYES. Bang. Too bright... too white... too bright...My head hurts, my heart hurts, my head hurts. It shouldn't hurt. Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion after asking me what happened and whether I was hurt or not. So it shouldn't hurt, right? Except...she didn't ask if I was all right did she? She didn't ask what happened before Harry's rescue mission. In fact, nobody did. _'What were you thinking, Ginny! We taught you better than that' _Did you? Really? _'Oh I am so happy you're alright sweetheart!'_ Am I? _'Ginny, boy did you give us a fright! Thank Merlin you're okay!' _ How do you know?

**HOW DO YOU KNOW!!**

Stop. Stop. Stop Ginny stop. They love you. They've always loved you. You're being unfair Ginny. Stop. Stop. Make it stop!! Tom was lying, Tom was lying, Tom was lying, Tom was lying, Tom was lying, Tom was lying, **Tom was lying**! Except...except he didn't, did he? Not for that. Yes, he did. Of course he did. He's a liar, liar, **liar**!! He lied to you Ginny. He lied. But about what? What was a lie? In the chamber...the things he said...

' _Do you honestly believe they will come and save you? That they'll even notice that you're gone. Seeing the message doesn't count sweetie. It's not noticing when there's a bright red message telling you what to realize. And even then...Think they will know it's you? Oh no... not until it's way too late will anyone know little Ginny Weasley is the one missing. What's that? Oh, of course they love you sweetheart. Did I ever tell you otherwise? They love __you without a doubt but... do they care? Yes, there's a difference sweetie. It's like loving and liking. Remember when you said that you don't like much some of your brothers. Remember what you told me? That's right. You don't like the way they are, but it doesn't keep you from loving them. The love is there, but you'd rather not having those boys for brothers. It's the same thing here. They love you, but they don't care. No Ginevra. You're wrong. They won't come to save you because they won't notice and they won't notice because they don't care about you unless they have to. They don't care as long as something doesn't force them to! No Ginevra, you silly girl, I'm not lying. And deep down, you know it as much as I do'_

He was right wasn't he? They didn't care, did they? No. Of course, they cared! Ron went down to get me. Percy was crying. The twins... they were being the twins, but they said they worried about me. Because they had to Ginny. NO! Not because they had to. Because they love me! Then, where were they? Where were they this year? They had other things to do! We all have our own lives!! laugh Right, we have our own lives. I didn't notice them either. We have our own lives...It's a useful little excuse isn't it? I didn't notice either...except that I did. I know that Percy looked ill in October. I know that he stopped talking to his best friend for three weeks. I know that he was sneaking off all the time. I know he had a girlfriend. I notice he looked at her like she was the best thing ever. I saw how he blushed everytime he looked at her. I saw how worried he was about his transfiguration grades. I know the pranks the twins did. I noticed they had a personal vendetta against that blond Hufflepuff boy for two months. I noticed how scared Ron was with the whole chamber thing and how he tried so hard not to let it show. I saw all the little details about my bothers. Those details that meant something small or something big. They didn't even see what was going on with me. They didn't see the signs that couldn't be call details since they were bigger than that.

'_Deep down you know it as much as I do, Ginevra. That's why they didn't try to help you. That's why they didn't ask what was wrong. They didn't even notice something __**was**__ wrong. Oh yes, they could have notice Ginevra. Honestly, how didn't the teachers notice is still a mystery to me. Oh, it was very useful for me though. I was always apprehensive. I thought that they would suspect something was wrong, but wouldn't act because you're such a sweet, innocent little girl. But as far as I know, they haven't even wondered. Not obvious! Not obvious, you say! Ginevra, your hands would shake so bad at times you couldn't hold on to your quill. Your eyes were often glossy, like you had a high fever because the diary's magic affected your mind in similar ways to a fever. You could stare at the same place for over 15 minutes without blinking, your face totally devoided of any emotion. You would cry in the middle of a class, hugging your little body tightly, biting your tongue until it bled to stay silent through the pain. It felt like someone was pulling your muscles out of your body, didn't it? You think you were totally silent or that your face didn't express all the pain you felt? You're wrong. It was plain as day. And they didn't notice.'_

The diary made me nervous. I would be startle at anything and everything. Always sitting close to the edge of the chairs, ready to jump and run at any little sign of danger. I didn't understand what was going on. It was more than blanking out for hours and waking up Merlin knows where. That was scary, that's for sure. But...that fear...those blanks...they didn't explain what was wrong. They didn't explain why I felt a pressure in my head all the time or why sometimes when I tried to do magic, my arm would be filled with a sharp pain. They didn't explain the nightmares filled with the blurry images and the horrible sensations of despair, pain, sadness, anger, and anguish. They didn't explain my pale face, my falling hair, my absolute silence. They didn't explain my rocking back and forth in the common room, hugging my knees close to my body and soft crying. All those signs...and only Percy wondered what was wrong and tried to do something about it. And that was only couple of times. A couple of times versus a hundred more.

'_Lying? You still__ believe they cared? No? The pain? Ah yes, you wouldn't remember most of it, would you Ginevra? No, the diary's magic had taken over you too much in the last month or so, for you to be truly aware of what went on. How? Dark magic is dangerous, sweetheart. It can harm you. Just like Mind magic. The diary is combination of both. It mixed up your magic. Remember what I told you. Every person has a different magical signature. Every person's magic flows through the body in a specific way. If something disrupts the magical flow, it can cause serious harm to the person. That's what the diary did. It teared your magical flow apart. It bent it to my own. That's why you were shaking, why you couldn't concentrate, why you felt pain when nothing was hurting your body. It messed up your mind. I can't explain it clearly to you sweetie. Mind magic is very complex. Let's just say that if I hadn't done the last stage of the plan, this stage where the diary takes your magic and gives it to me, you would have gone completely crazy. You were already good for St-Mungo's incurable ward when I took you here. No, indeed you're not insane right now. You're also more lucid than you've been in months. That's what happens to your magic at this point. You don't need to know why or how. Just know that all will be over soon.'_

And it was. For good I thought. And it didn't sound so bad. No more nightmares. No more uncontrollable shaking...except that I'm shaking like crazy right now. No more pressure in my head...yet, I feel like my head is an orange and someone's is squishing the juice out of it. No more gaping hole in my chest digged by loneliness and feelings of abandonment and yet, where is everybody now? Sat by me long enough to tell me they had worried and they were glad I was fine.

'_Oh you worried us so much. Don't ever do that again'_ What? Almost getting killed? Can't control that, ma. Or do you mean never again be in a dangererous situation where other people will know my life is in danger, because then, you're forced to pay attention, to care, to cry, and to worry in order to save face and your reputation of the perfect mother!! No, no don't say that Ginny...don't say that. It's not like that. It's not. But it seems like it. Why didn't they notice the clock? Why didn't they see? Why didn't she see? It's not like she leaves the house that often. Not like Dad. And yet...Mortal Peril. The place on the clock everyone in the family dreads to see someone's picture on.

Charlie's face was once on Mortal Peril. Actually, it was there more than once. His job is a dangerous one. But that one time, I remember. I remember because it stayed on Mortal Peril so long. A dragon had started attacking the dragon tamers camp. Charlie hadn't been hurt yet when his picture first went on Mortal Peril. No. The clock senses when someone is in potential danger, but that doesn't mean the person will get hurt. It just means that there are chances that you could die in the situation you're in. That's why Charlie's picture went at MP more times than he was injured. His life had the probability of being taken, but he wasn't dying at the moment. When you're in the process of dying, you're picture starts to fade. Wonder if mine did that. Wonder if they noticed if it did. Probably not. Probably noticed when someone sent a letter home. Like my brothers noticed when they were told. How many hours between my entering of the chamber and the discovery of the message? At least, a couple. And yet, through all the adults paranoia because of the chamber, no one notice little Ginny Weasley was missing. Like Tom said. Wonder what else he was right about?

Wonder when people will realize that if Tom Riddle is You-know-who, maybe they should ask the little girl who wrote to him for a year what he had told her, what sort of things he tried to convince her of, what sort of things he taught her. Wonder when they're going to realize that if Tom Riddle is You-know-who, then maybe he hurt her in the chamber and that maybe they should worry. Wonder if they're ever going to wonder what an adolescent version of the worst, or best depending on you point of view, Dark Lord of the last centuries could have done to a little girl that was completely in his power. I'll have to see. I'll have to cry. They won't ask. They won't wonder. They won't think. They're already convinced I'm okay. That I'll be okay. That once I leave the infirmary, everything will be over. That everything will be back as it was, back as it should be. They'll laugh, and they'll cry, and they'll sleep every night. They'll prank, and they'll tease and they'll feel at ease. They'll ignore and they'll be blind. They'll notice once in a while or when they're forced. And I'll smile, and I'll study and I'll laugh, and be happy like they expect me to be...but in my mind, I'll still be in a cold, lonely, white infirmary.

**The END**

**Cat: **Anyone else found it weird that Ginny was said to be just fine at the end of 2nd book, when she had just been betrayed by her best friend and went through a near-death experience?

**Kitty:** Yeah, honestly, I've lost friends before and you don't get over the lost of your friends in a week, no matter how much everybody else loves you or dotes on you.

**Kitty: **Anyway, I hope that you have enjoyed! And that you will** REVIEW**!

**Cat:** That's not how you do it. You say 'Review or else...'

**Kitty**: Or else what? They could be in another country for all you know. There's not much to do about it.

**Cat:** Oh forget it! Please review and tell me what you think, but if you criticize, do it in a useful and polite way, or I'll kick your ...well..uhm..ok I wouldn't do that (if only because goody-goody Kitty wouldn't let me) but honestly, don't flame! I don't do it to others (even to my linguistic teacher) so please show respect even if you don't like my fic.

**THANKS FOR READING!**

**P.S**. If you criticize my title for this fic then please suggest another title. I'm super extra bad at titles! I more than once gave back a writing composition without a title and lost points because of it.( How silly is that anyway? Taking points because there is no title!)


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